me, projected as the dead sea

I feel sometimes like the dead sea.

There is too much salt, and there is no fish.

Salt is important for human being, but too much, we do not need.

If I heard that,

I thought , it is like me.

too much salt in the dead sea,

too much feeling inside myself.

I have many feelings, not only nice one.

and yes, human being has feelings

but everybody is trying hardly to feel "light",

not too much feelings.

it is easier to life in our society if you not feel so much.

But I feel so much.

I can not deal with my feelings.

in my younger ages, I ignored my feelings.

I was like a robot, just did what was expected to do.

Than,

I get sick.

I could not eat anymore.

I could not sit anymore.

I could not go to the school.

When I started to open my feelings and looked it,

it was too much.

My life from than was, how to deal with my feelings in this world.

My heart reacted too much to every thing.

I was thinking, and I was feeling.

I get tired of it, and wanted to go.

Say good bye to the world.

But the TAO brought me back.

I could not die.

So I kept on , to looking for and reaching for a way

how I could balance my feeling, here in this world.

It was not easy, my way.

But the answer was simple.

"Just , let it be."

When I could find in myself the space where I could be silent and just give space for the emotions, for the feelings, for the reactions inside me.

I just watching and observing how busy they are moving.

And feel it. the deep deep feeling. and right now, I am amazed how deep a human beings feeling can be.

In my old days, it was a problem.

That I have many feelings and that I could not ignore it,

I thought so long time that it makes my life so hard.

I had a complex that I feel too much.

I criticized myself of it,

I thought, I am wrong in some way, that I feel like that.

And closed my door of my heart.

For so long long time.

But now,

I know how deep the feeling can be.

And how beautiful it is, the feeling of each of us.

I feel, that I got the mission in this life to support people to allow giving space for their feelings.

My whole life was the training for that.

I am now not afraid anymore to feel the deep emotions.

exiting one

beautiful and nice feelings,

but also

anger

loneliness

fear

unknown.....

Since I can see my role in this world,

I also can love my way and my deep feeling inside me.

Maybe that is why I love the dead sea so much.

Yes, it is to salty and there is no fish or life, like the other lakes or oceans.

But there is some uniqueness.

We can flow there on the water.

and the mud are very healing, the water too.

I heard, that the sunshine is also special and the people who are allergy to the sun, they also can be there.

There is space and fun, that you can not find in other places around the world.

And if I apply this view to myself,

to be like me, with this whole deep emotions can maybe also for some people useful.

Maybe also me can be useful for somebody else.

Maybe I should give more space for the lonely feelings, because of the uniqueness??

Cheers for each of us, we all are unique and the only one in this wonderful world.