.JPG)
The time is flowing.
I am already back in Tokyo.
Unbelievable that one week is over in Israel.
Unbelievable that I was away for more than 3 weeks.
The little tiny apartment in Tokyo was waiting for us.
I feel home and comfortable to have a place which is "mine".
Drive a car which is also "mine".
To understand the language, to know how it works here in this place.
On the same time, I miss so much my friends, the comfortable place what my friends gave me, the big deep warm love what I got from them, and I miss the distance from my "reality"....
no, it is not true, "my reality" is everywhere, anytime is my reality there....
but there is some excuse not to do what I usually have to do.
here, is more connection with the outer world.
I have to pay my bills,
I have to do with my registrations here,
here is my son's school,
at this moment, Japan is where I do my work basically.
And specially in Japan,
I miss a community where I can feel connected.
Specially in Tokyo, I feel so lonely.
I skyped with my friends around the world today.
and they helped me to come out from the "lonely mood".
It is so nice to have the power to connect with people and get support and love from them.
After the chat with many people, my identity as a lonely single mother in Japan switched to the identity as a global international Daya, who is going around the world, and right now, I am sitting in Tokyo and doing my job here.
Through the process work training, I can move more fluently between my identities and moods. That helps me a lot not stuck in one identity in myself.
But I also want say, that sometimes to stay in ONE identity and feel deeply what there is happening is also very important or sometimes useful to get know about myself more deeper.
It is only 2 days since I am back.
Still the feeling, flowing between the cultures...
I hope, that I can keep being and feeling so global and international as I felt in Europe and in Israel.
I wish to keep in contact with writing this weblog and keep writing and thinking in English and in German.
I realized, depends on the language what I am using, I am connected with different "me" and it is so interesting to observe that.
Me, as a third culture kid
I feel much comfortable to have this multi culture balanced life. If I am stacked in a culture, something starts not to work in me. So, it is important to give my multicultural part enough space in my life.
My question for long time was:
HOW?
But this time, I finally could feel myself to be able not separated in peaces and I could feel me as a one being.
I felt that I am me, like I am in Japan, in Switzerland, in Israel...and in Palestine too.
That was a wonderful feeling, not be separated inside me depends the culture where I am.
On the same time, there is now no clear reason why I am living in Tokyo, really. I have to admit, it is for me difficult to find a place where I can feel home.
Maybe... where I have my friends, and where I have to work, there is my home.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Ich kann nicht schlafen.
Wegen den Zeitunterschied,
mein Koerper lebt immernoch die europaeische Zeit.
Ich ueberlege mir immer wieder, ob es hier ein "Sinn" hat, auf English UND auf Deutsch zu schreiben...
Es tut gut fuer mich.
Als third culture kids
(genauer hier: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids),
gehe ich mit meinem gemischten Identitaet hin und her.
Aber langsam denke ich mir, wenn das alles (ich meine, das schreiben und so in diesem weblog) als erster fuer mich ist, dann kann ich ja ein bisschen "freier" schreiben?
Ich muss ja nicht jedes mal das gleiche auf Englisch und auf Deutsch schreiben. Die meisten die Deutsch koennen, verstehen ja auch meistens Englisch.
Aber wie immer, ich bin zu ungeduldig mit meinem eigenen Prozess.
Ist dies meine perfektionistische seite von meiner japanischen Seite?
oder ist das die schweizerische perfektionistische Seite?
Nur darueber nachzudenken und meinen Ungeduld zu spueren ist spannend!
No comments:
Post a Comment