comparing

tomorrow, son's school will start.

FINALLY!!!

here, without some network or community where I can go (and feel home), to be just with my son gets me crazy.

Specially after the huge space and lovely friends,

you automatically compare with that situation and

the stress feels like much more.

Yes, "COMPARING".

that's makes my feeling often so complicated.

Where I learned to compare?

Since when, I am comparing myself with the other or with something what I do not have?

In Japanese, we say

"the grass garden from the neighbor looks nicer then mine".

Today, was my comparing day!

that means, I felt very bad and not satisfied.

I used all my skills and knowledge about my bad mood and my anger.

But, I gave up.

I am angry today.

Angry to few specific people,

angry about the situation,

angry about the world

but most angry

I was with myself.

and THAT made me feel much more bad.

I felt, the being supported me

and sent me so many people.

When I thought,

here is nobody to meet,

I got some message that a friend has tomorrow free so we can meet.

Another friend we made an appointment on Friday for lunch.

And I hear a voice

"you see, what YOU have?"

yes, I do.

and now, I feel better.

comparing makes me blind

what I can and what I have.

Who I really am.

(the picture is "OH-card",

a very nice tool to connect with your unique intuition and your own feeling.

I am introducing this unique card in Japan.)